monks of new skete criticism

2 min read 04-12-2024

The Monks of New Skete, a small Eastern Orthodox monastic community in Cambridge, New York, are well-known for their book, Raising Your Kids Without Raising Your Voice. This book, and their overall approach to parenting, has garnered both significant praise and considerable criticism. Understanding this requires a balanced look at both sides.

The Positive Aspects of the Monks of New Skete Approach

Many parents have found the Monks of New Skete's methods incredibly helpful. Their emphasis on understanding a child's emotional needs, rather than simply focusing on obedience, resonates with many modern parenting styles.

Focus on Empathy and Connection

The core of their philosophy emphasizes developing a strong, loving relationship with your child. This connection serves as the foundation for guiding behavior. By understanding the child's emotional state, parents can better respond to misbehavior with empathy and patience. This, they argue, is far more effective than punishment.

Practical, Hands-on Advice

The book provides concrete, practical advice and techniques. These are not abstract theories, but methods parents can implement immediately. This practical approach makes their teachings accessible and useful for a wide range of families. Specific examples and case studies throughout the book help illustrate the concepts.

Emphasis on Spiritual Growth

The Monks of New Skete ground their parenting advice in their Orthodox Christian faith. While not explicitly religious, their approach emphasizes spiritual growth for both parents and children, fostering a sense of peace and purpose. This emphasis on inner peace can be a valuable asset in navigating the challenges of parenthood.

Criticisms of the Monks of New Skete's Approach

Despite the popularity of Raising Your Kids Without Raising Your Voice, the Monks of New Skete's methods have faced criticism.

Lack of Scientific Basis

Some critics point to a lack of rigorous scientific evidence to support their claims. While anecdotal evidence abounds, the absence of large-scale studies raises concerns about the generalizability of their findings. This is a common criticism of many parenting books that rely heavily on personal experience.

Potential for Over-indulgence

Critics argue that the emphasis on empathy and understanding could lead to over-indulgence. The constant focus on meeting a child's emotional needs, without establishing clear boundaries, could potentially spoil a child. Striking the right balance between empathy and discipline is a crucial aspect of parenting that some find challenging to navigate using this method.

Cultural and Religious Bias

The Monks' approach is rooted in their specific cultural and religious context. This may not translate well to all families, particularly those with different backgrounds or beliefs. The emphasis on spiritual growth, for example, may not resonate with secular parents.

Limited Scope of Advice

The book focuses primarily on younger children. The advice may not be as relevant or effective for adolescents, who present different challenges. This limits the applicability of their methods across the entire spectrum of childhood.

A Balanced Perspective

The Monks of New Skete offer valuable insights into raising children with love and understanding. Their emphasis on empathy and connection is crucial for healthy child development. However, it's important to approach their teachings with a critical eye, acknowledging both their strengths and limitations. Parents should consider their own cultural context and parenting philosophies and use the Monks' advice selectively. Ultimately, finding what works best for your family is key. Supplementing their advice with other parenting resources and seeking professional guidance when needed can ensure a well-rounded approach.