ignore her after she cancels date

2 min read 05-12-2024

It stings. You've planned a date, maybe even looked forward to it for days. Then, she cancels. The question burning in your mind: should you ignore her? The answer isn't a simple yes or no. It depends on the circumstances, her explanation, and your own emotional resilience. Let's explore how to navigate this tricky situation.

Understanding the Why Behind the Cancellation

Before deciding on a course of action, try to understand why she canceled. Was it a genuine emergency (illness, family crisis)? Or was it a less-than-ideal excuse (double-booked, "forgot")?

Genuine Emergencies vs. Flimsy Excuses

Genuine Emergencies: If she offered a believable explanation and expressed genuine remorse, ignoring her might seem harsh. A simple, understanding response is usually best. Something like, "No worries, things happen. Let me know when you're free again." This shows maturity and understanding.
Flimsy Excuses: Repeated cancellations with poor excuses suggest a lack of respect for your time. Ignoring her in this scenario might be a valid response, sending a clear message that her behavior is unacceptable. Consider if this is a pattern.

How to Respond (or Not Respond)

The approach you take greatly impacts the future of your interactions. Here are several options to consider:

Option 1: The Understanding Response

This is appropriate for genuine emergencies. Acknowledge her explanation, express understanding, and suggest rescheduling. Don't dwell on the cancellation.

Option 2: The Low-Key Response

Suitable if the reason is somewhat ambiguous or if you want to give her space without completely ignoring her. A simple "Okay" or a brief acknowledgment is sufficient. This doesn't necessarily mean you're upset, but it doesn't encourage further contact either.

Option 3: The "Ghosting" Approach (Use with Caution)

Ignoring her completely (ghosting) might feel satisfying in the moment, but it rarely leads to a positive outcome. It can come across as immature and disrespectful. It's generally better to communicate your feelings, however briefly, unless she consistently exhibits dismissive behavior.

Option 4: The Direct Approach (for Repeated Offenses)

If cancellations become a pattern, consider a direct but calm conversation. Express your feelings without accusatory language. For instance, "I've noticed a pattern of cancellations lately. I value my time, and consistent cancellations make it hard to plan things." This opens a dialogue and addresses the issue head-on.

What to Do After You've Responded (Or Not)

Regardless of your chosen response, take time to reflect on your feelings. Don't beat yourself up over her actions. Focus on your own self-worth.

Self-Reflection: Analyze the situation objectively. What are your expectations in a relationship? Does she consistently respect your time?
Prioritize Yourself: Don't let one cancelled date derail your confidence. There are plenty of other people out there.
Set Boundaries: Moving forward, establish clear boundaries around how you expect to be treated. Don't tolerate repeated disrespect.

The Bottom Line: It Depends

There's no one-size-fits-all answer to whether you should ignore her. Consider the context, her behavior, and your own feelings. Prioritize your well-being and self-respect. Sometimes, a little silence speaks volumes. Other times, open communication is key. Choose the response that best reflects your values and protects your emotional health.